i don’t normally stay up past 11.10.59 pm.

i hardly cling myself on to shooting stars

nor coins that resound within abandoned wells

you wouldn’t see me putting my fate on a four leaf clover

nor let you see me wiping my tears after

these nights have been different however

a fallen eye lash seem to not have the power

but time alone, and let time just be

perchance, everything could end up right

between you and me.

08513

i have heard the silence that was underneath her turmoiled soul

she spoke no words nor released a single sigh

she was there but not

her mind drifted apart 

in different directions and at paces that vary

her tears were dry

and the whimpers echoed within

i have heard the silence that was underneath her turmoiled soul

and it wasn’t silence at all. 

 

i think we can do this more often now.

although the months coming have a gust of cold breeze under its wings, i’ve been having this warm gush of waves rolling to and from the toes of my feet.

it’s a few days away from the 9th month of the year. and it seems that my fortune has changed drastically from the beginning of this year. events lately have made me realize that what i’ve went through wasn’t for the sake of nothing. it was definitely for something. something grand, that i cannot yet completely comprehend. i’m not really dwelling on just one aspect. it has surged through everything, even through the cracks. believe me when i say i’ve been patched up during the earlier parts of this year. it’s just that now, i think i’ve been feeling the edges of my entirety to diminish, yet to unfurl further.

it’s funny though. amidst all of these good vibes, i’m still in a state of utter confusion. for what? everything as well. even the red marks say so. i just hope i wouldn’t fall into something i cannot get back up from. i can already see the edge, but i don’t know if i’m going there or i would be forced to be there. let me not go past the edge. 

sparks.

it wasn’t a common surface.

it was coarse; it was red.

 

faded streaks of white embedded as well.

something that she played within her nimble hands.

she’s been playing with the box for quite sometime now.

sliding the inner piece in and out, in and out. 

perhaps she was stuck on a thought or two for awhile.

she didn’t have to do this, she hadn’t needed to do this.

but it was getting cold. she needed warmth. 

the strike was beautiful. it produced just the right flame. 

a product of the perfect pace and inserted force. 

“such a waste,” she sighed.

dropped from her cage, she threw the stick away.

warmth came. but it was too warm. just too warm. 

 

a redirection.

i know i haven’t been posting anything on here for a while now.

i haven’t been doing anything worthwhile, you see.

 

nothing, nothing at all. and i’m sick of it. 

i’m through with trying and giving myself lapses for the wrong reasons.

 

full of words and empty actions. goodness. what happened.

i’m a mess. too far from myself 10 months back.

 

sana kaya pa ito sagipin.